She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How external is "for external use only"?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
