no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize