Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
