peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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