she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
