for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
