is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize