This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
