Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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