we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
