girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have fence marks all over my body
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
