thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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