how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He? As in you personified your dick?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
