I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
