If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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