Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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