So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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