hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
try to milk me bitch
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
