You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
