I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
