winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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