Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
