He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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