Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
