she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
