SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
