Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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