Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
