"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
