Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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