he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
