Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
