TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
