you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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