Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
