i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
