The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
