It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
