I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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