He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize