He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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