well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
