ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
