i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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