dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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