I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
