i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
