How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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