we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I currently don't understand fingers.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
