STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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