dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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