He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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