Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
