I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
