Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
