Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
