i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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