She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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