Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize