New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
