i barfeds in our rink
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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