Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
