put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
