There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
