You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
