I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
