"it" just moved
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Come share oat with me in your robe
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
