I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So squirting runs in the family.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
