Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
