my soul wont recognize me after tonight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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